What could I be?

What makes me special? How about this, I'll tell you what makes me special, if you can guess who I am. I'll give you a little time to think. Got it yet? How much more time do you need? How about now? Here, I'll make a deal with you, if you can guess who I am by all the things I am about to tell you, I will tell you all the awesome things I can do. But if you can't figure out who I am; I'll give you little hints here and there. And if you still can't figure it out; I'll tell you at the very end. How about that? Are we good? Good.

Being a simpleton is not my style, I can play DRR (Dance Dance Revelusion) on the extreme level and never miss a beat. Tattoo's are for babies, I swallow that ink and the picture appears wherever I want to it too: on my arms, legs, shoulders, neck, hands, feet, anywhere! People have told me that I am smarter than a computer, though I did loose to a computer a chess, it was never a match for me at kick-boxing. Squealing tires on my car like some N-owning, small minded child is too boring for me, no I just stare at my tires and they melt right off the rims! Spiders are no match for my cunning skills in rolled up newspaper vs. spider game.

I taught Batman all he knows and know Dallas Rowe's two true weaknesses! I bowl 305 and kicked the nose right off of Micheal Jackson's face just for him being a bit too weird. Leaping puddles in a single bound, I am often seen in my nerd hole, but when I am not saving the n00bs of this world from shear peral and embaressment, I am precheating to the world that Pepsi IS better than Coke. Though I would not call myself a hero, using only a rubber band and an oversized novelty foam finger, I once saved a small village in China from a hoard of vicious man eating mice.

With all that information, have you finally figured out who I am? Not yet?! I'm surprised, I thought that you were better than that! Woah, I think my IQ just dropped a point just by the fact that you don't know who I am! NO! Huston! We have a problem! Wait, hold on. I caught it, no need to worry. I got it, give me a second while I put it back into my brain. Wait. Okay, I got it back in, no need to panic! Okay, since you still havn't gotten it, I'll continue.

Let's see, I am an expert in converting oxygen into carbon dioxide, a n00b in math and a ruthless outlaw in Wales. I'm addicted to garlic bread; unknown in the art of eating sushi and worshiped by the way I can tell what kind of animals went into the hotdog I am eating. Dinosaurs aren’t a thing of the past, I have the last remaining one in my basement, and his name is Bob. Horizontal stripes make me look thinner while vertical stripes make me look wider.

Did you guess it yet? I gave you as many hints as I could without me having to kill you after saying the hint. Oh well, I guess I am just that kind of person, I have been known to become invisible and slip into places I’m not supposed too. Okay, well since you’ve been so nice and have read this whole essay, I guess I’ll tell you who I am. I am a grade 12 student at Princess Margaret Second School, and my name is Arlene Dunstan-Adams.